"Catch a star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away."

Surat Terbuka

Menanggapi kabar buruk yang sedang terjadi saat ini, saya berusaha untuk berbesar hati. Ini berat sekali. Rasanya hancur melihat reaksi beberapa teman saya sendiri nyinyir menanggapi masalah ini. Padahal tidak semua berita yang mereka baca di media itu benar. Banyak yang diplintir dan dibesar-besarkan.

Tuduhan bahwa ayah saya, Sitok Srengenge, memperkosa dan menghindar dari tanggung jawab itu tidak benar. Bahwa ayah saya berhubungan dengan RW memang benar, tapi sama sekali tak ada unsur paksaan. Berkali-kali ayah saya berniat untuk bertemu keluarga RW dan mempertanggunjawabkan perbuatannya. Tapi usahanya itu tidak ditanggapi oleh pendamping RW. Seolah-olah akses justru ditutup. Selama beberapa bulan ini justru ayah saya menunggu kabar dari mediator tersebut. Sampai akhirnya kemarin berita beredar. Ayah saya dilaporkan ke polisi dengan tuduhan pemerkosaan dan tidak ada tanggung jawab.

Saya sangat kecewa kepada ayah saya. Tapi saya tidak akan membiarkan ayah saya menjadi seorang yang jahat. Saya akan dukung dia untuk terus berusaha bertanggung jawab kepada RW dan keluarganya. Dan sebisa mungkin saya akan selalu mendampingi ayah saya. Biar bagaimana pun, saya tetap bagian dari hidup ayah saya dan tak ada siapa pun yang ia miliki kecuali saya dan ibu saya.

Sekali lagi, ini tidak mudah untuk saya dan keluarga. Semua orang berhak kecewa bahkan marah kepada ayah saya. Bahkan saya, sebagai anak, berhak seribu kali lipat lebih marah dari siapa pun. Tapi kemarahan saya tidak akan mengubah kondisi menjadi lebih baik. Setelah marah, lalu apa? Perlu disadari bahwa ada anak berumur 22 tahun sedang depresi menghadapi hidup. Ada janin yang sebentar lagi lahir. Dan ini juga pada akhirnya harus menjadi tanggung jawab saya untuk menguatkan RW dan calon adik saya.

Saya mohon doa dari seluruh teman yang sebesar-besarnya supaya saya dan ibu saya kuat menghadapi ini. RW dan janinnya juga senantiasa diberi kesehatan. Semoga semua ini cepat selesai dan tak ada kepentingan-kepentingan pihak tertentu yang memainkan masalah ini hingga bertambah rumit. Dan, jika berkenan, mohon untuk tidak menggunakan kata-kata kasar untuk menanggapi masalah ini. Tidak untuk membela siapa pun, tapi setidaknya untuk menjaga perasaan kedua keluarga. Terima kasih sebesar-besarnya kepada para sahabat dan keluarga. Baik buruknya perlakuan kalian kepada kami, justru semakin menguatkan cinta keluarga kami.

Salam hangat,
Laire Siwi Mentari

Best Friend by Backyard Folks

http://www.soundcloud.com/backyard-folks

Feels like having the best friendship ever. That i’d made a box out of metal. Inside my box i’d have a sun and moon struck together, and it’d grant me wishes. Sometimes the sun and moon take me up to the sky and make a playground on top of the clouds with their friendship magic, and sometimes they let me meet some shiny stars and take me back home. 🌟

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(Photo courtesy: Backyard Folks)

Aku merindumu, seperti lautan biru yang membeku di haru waktu.

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Tidak semua orang ingin hidup lama. Jadi jangan terlalu terbiasa mendoakan semoga panjang umur kepada yang berulangtahun.

Little Numbers – BOY

BOY has been my favorite band these past few weeks. I’d like to share one of their best songs and MV here.

BOY is a band consisting of Valeska Steiner (aka Valeska) and Sonja Milena Glass. They are based in Zurich and Hamburg. Their début album was “Mutual Friends” (2 Sep 2011, Grönland), which includes the tracks: “Drive Darling”, “Skin”, “July”, “Little Numbers”, “Army”, “Waitress” and “This Is the Beginning”.

And anyway, if you have spare time please also kindly check their other videos on Youtube. You’re gonna love ’em!

Waited for your call and for the moon

To release me from the longest afternoon
I’ve re-arranged parts of my living room
But time is hard to kill since I met you

Looking at the cars that drive on by
While spring is making promises outside
Red cars are quite rare I realize
Then I wonder which colour you’d like

Seven little numbers
Baby, they could be a start
Seven little numbers
Baby, I know yours by heart

Woo-oh, oh-oh, all the pretty things that we could be
Woo-oh, oh-oh, I feel you in every heart beat
Woo-oh, oh-oh, were you ever in a dream that could come true
These numbers could be lucky for you

I watch the sky change to a darker blue
I can’t think of another thing to do
And every song just makes me think of you
Because the singers sounds as if she was longing,
As if she was longing, too

Seven little numbers
Baby, they could be a start
Seven little numbers
Baby, I know yours by heart
Seven little numbers
Baby, they could make a change
Seven little numbers
Make a fire out of this flame

Woo-oh, oh-oh, all the pretty things that we could be
Woo-oh, oh-oh, I feel you in every heart beat
Woo-oh, oh-oh, were you ever in a dream that could come true
These numbers could be lucky for you

I read your name on every wall, on every wall – tell me
Is there a cure for me at all, for me at all – tell me
I read your name on every wall, on every wall – tell me
Is there a cure for me at all, for me at all

Woo-oh, oh-oh, all the pretty things that we could do
Woo-oh, oh-oh, I feel you in every heart beat
Woo-oh, oh-oh, were you ever in a dream that could come true
These numbers could be lucky for you

Woo-oh, oh-oh
Woo-oh, oh-oh
Woo-oh, oh-oh
These numbers could be lucky
These numbers could be lucky
These numbers could be lucky for you

Don’t let the fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and not-at-all. Don’t let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. It is real.. It is possible.. It is yours..

Changing

You’re not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations, nor should you feel the world must live up to yours. You can’t change people into who you want them to be. I’m constantly putting up a resistance but at the same time I often find myself trying to do the same. Nobody’s perfect, I understand I’m not and never will be perfect and I need to stop expecting others to be perfect. You are who you were from day one and I’m gonna have to live with it. So yes, laugh when you can, apoligize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change.

Cheers for life!

At this time, i didn’t fall, i didn’t break, i didn’t even budge. I stood strong, and then i took one step forward. You see, i had been through this before.

I don’t get mad. I get smarter. I learned something today and i’m thankful for the lesson.

A little bit disappointed but i can’t let setbacks slow me down. I will continue to create. I will continue to build.. Even i can’t stop me now. Cheers for life!

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:)

No matter what’s going on in your life, just smile. Smile and know that God is working. You might not see it but He is working. So smile and know that He ain’t forgot about you. The sun is still shining even it’s behind the cloud and you can’t see it.

[In frame: Rona Keller]

Voices of My Past

Scream my name and bring back all my pain.

Waters of truth flow through my mind.

Open your eyes, I’m not fine.

The glitter of danger has caught my eye and

the voices of my past continue to scream and cry.

Look at me, I’m fighting to be free.

Desperate and damaged, I still manage

to attempt to hurry to the light

but as always the voices of my past continue

to hold me in such a tight grasp.

Lost time, a blocked heart, secrets burning

deep inside. I’m searching, I’m running,

I’m praying for that light to remove all my strife.

But the voices of my past continue to rule my life.

A mixture of panic and faith increased day by day

from the words they say haunting me in every way.

But I know that this too will come to an end.

Maybe all I need is just a friend to help all the

voices somehow end, the numbness I feel,

I’ll feel again… The time lost… I’ll regain 10 x 10.

Instead of desperate and damaged, I’ll be centered

and whole. I’m gonna stomp forward with the voices of

my past buzzing in my ear, with sincerity in my heart.